Ask 'A Nun' A Question - queries from the flock - Is Thai Elvis in the House?

My nun question is: With the current dwindling numbers, will nuns start new ways to attract people into the flock? Beer bribes perhaps? :) Best, Traci

Dear Sister Traci,

Thank you for writing. There are actually more nuns than you think, it's just that the new modern day-millennium-sisters of the space age, as I like to call 'em, are 'out of habit,' thus harder to see in your everyday surroundings. But I can always spot 'em.

For instance, I was taken to The Palms bar (not the lobster restaurant of the same name on Sunset) on Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood, where there were a flock of women with short hair and obviously out of habit! They do this so that they can run around to bars undetected. I though came gliding through the wooden swinging doors in full regalia. ('Palms" is obviously a secret code name in reference to Palm Sunday) These 'out of wedlock 'er habit' nuns are so gleeful in their praise of JC that they were even dancing together in some cases. A few came up and asked to have their picture taken with me or for an autograph, as they claimed to have 'never seen a nun in a bar' before. I smiled and gave them a knowing wink, to which led one 'out of habit' nun start telling me her innermost secrets of -Saints Preserve Us- wanting to, well, 'bed a nun.' At first I played the naive holy card, hoping it certainly meant she wanted to perhaps be a maid in a convent and 'turn down the sheets' (to which she nodded vigorously...) or 'make the bed.' I told her to apply at the nearest convent. As I made my way out of this drinking establishment for 'out of habit' nuns in an obvious attempt to further hide her 'nun identity' she slapped me on the rear! Heavens! What these modern day, no-frills nuns go through to defy long standing tradition and hide who they really are. It's as if they borrowed a page from the Tom Cruise manual!

To that effect, and in answer to your last question, I was actually given I suppose what could be called a few 'beer bribes,' that certainly didn't hold a candle to the Trappists Beer (see early posting below re: Nuns & Beer) that I do partake in only, of course, when visiting the brewing monasteries in Belgium!

Until next time... Keep those cards and letters and prayers coming and... Keep your eyes off your neighbor's paper!

You were obviously at the wrong Palms. The Palms Thai Restaurant on Hollywood Boulevard (http://cityguide.aol.com/losangeles/dining/venue.adp?sbid=100059536) is a most uplifting experience with Thai Elvis (see above) in attendance nightly. You were getting 'palmed off' with this out-of-habit hole in the wall joint. With the illustrious Elvis in full white regalia, Saint Preserve Me herself would pass through the portals un-noticed.

Nun X