Nun Joke of the Week

While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened by the beer, wine and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer.
The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable about purchasing it.

The first nun replied that she would handle that without a problem. She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier had a surprised look so the nun said, "This is for washing our hair."

Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached across the counter and grabbed a bag of pretzel sticks and placed it with the beer, saying, "The curlers are on me."

A Nun's Work is Never Done, But She Does Vacation in the Summer

Well I've been flying around to other, 'er blogging type communities, and as well as Rome, our favorite Trappist breweries, and thought I'd share a picture from my vacation.

Jesus has risen... and he's coming to get you!

Well, and I myself, a nun, am back from the dead so-to-speak after attending my Easter observances over in La Roma.

All my travels will be detailed in the next entry, but until then, what with the DaVinci Code going forth as a movie, the constant shenanigans on Capitol Hill, our own VP's random version of a drive-by shooting, and just Soddom & Gommorah in general, you bet ole JC is up and looking for you!

Boxing Nun Puppet Incites Rioting by Local Nuns

Associated Catholic Newswire: Angry protests over the sale of the popular "Boxing Nun" puppet at local area "joke" shops in Los Angeles, have incited non-stop rioting by local nuns. In Hollywood, dozens of nuns marched through parts of the city looting, carrying tiki torches and signs declaring, "Rap the Knuckles of the One Who Makes Fun of the Nun!" and "Nuns are Sisters of God, Not Fighters!" and "Wacko's Making Money off of Free Speech Rights!"

In Pennsylvania, long known as the largest "nun state," burning effigies of the Boxing Nun were erected as various orders, including the sequested Carmelites, even ventured out on the streets after dark to protest.

In Europe, maintaining a more peaceful stance, several nun orders held candlelight vigils while Trappist monks served free beer in an effort to maintain calm, among the more older, unruly sisters. One nun cried out, "See! We drink beer! We're not all bad!" Skinhead punks holding nun puppets and wearing Charlie Don't Surf and Jews for Jesus shirts, surrounded the nuns and taunted, "take a puppet and fight back!"

In Hollywood a local joke shop owner released the statement, "The Boxing Nun has long been one of our biggest sellers. I'm not sure what all the fuss is about as we also having a Boxing Rabbi and a Boxing Satan. So, we certainly don't have anything against anyone, and besides, the Boxing Nun is funny. "

Additional reporting by: Sister Q in Britian.

Dominque a Nicque a Ni... The Singing Nun...

Well I'm sure this fine singing sister had no idea the many outlets her music would take when she first "cut tracks" for her vinyl album (look it up in the encyclopedia kiddies) that yielded a Number 1 Hit on the charts in 1963 keeping, the rock song, "Louie, Louie" from reaching that coveted position. Now available on CD and the ultimate tribute, you can listen to her while at work as she streams on the World Wide Web at... http://musicsojourn.com/AR/oldies/page/s/SingingNun.htm

This singing Belgian nun was also known as Soeur Sourire ("Sister Smile") and resided at a Dominican convent when she hit it big. Certainly a forward thinker and a product of the free-wheelin' '60s this rebellious nun of the '60s wrote a song praising God for the invention of The Pill. Saints preserve us! Sadly, this gal we could have used around today, decided to take the shortcut to heaven when this rock and roll stage we call "earth" proved too much for her when the Belgian government came a' knockin' for back taxes from unpaid royalties. Like a good nun, Sister Smile had donated those royalties to her convent.

See the sanitized version of her life as portrayed by Debbie Reynolds.

Oprah on Letterman! See... World Peace is Possible?

Well what a time we are living in. Saddam is captured whilst living in a hole, then gives us entertainment during his courtroom appearances where he admonishes the judge, Osama a man in a WHITE robe in a GRAY/BROWN desert...can't be found, Californians figure out that 'hey maybe hiring an actor to be the Governor wasn't such a good idea,' ole Grandad, Papi passes away and we get an even more...conservative Pope, Nuns are subjects of mystery novels, hold up film shoots and announce The DaVince Code "blasphemous," Trappist monks have breweries... where was I? And yes, 16 years after her last appearance on Letterman, Oprah last night in full regalia with a sort of-gushing Dave sits down in the guest chair! And apparently from the picture above they seemed to have made up and made out after the show!

Uma, Oprah, Uma, Osama, Saddam, Uma, Oprah... as Oprah said, "will you tell me what the feud was about?" (or something to that effect) asking the question of the decade that gee, was sure on my mind every night. That and "what is Katie Holmes thinking??"

And... on the "television event of the decade," Oprah shared her story that when she was a little girl one Christmas they were so poor her mother said that Santa Claus wouldn't make it to their house that year. However.... two nuns showed up with a gift basket and food on Christmas Eve! So, see all is well and there is a happy ending at least in a parallel universe, that is on TV land...

http://www.makestickers.com/letterman.asp - for more Oprah/Dave fun

Well There Goes the Neighborbood

Ye ole grandad, The Pope, said that gays were not allowed to be priests, not saying if he was going to give the boot to those who are that are currently serving. Or... they can't be priests if they have been sexually active as a gay man in the last six months? Hmm, are lie detector tests around the corner?

Well dearies, there go the once full rectories with many having their trajectories paved for them.