I think not! If you were on trial would you want a nun on your jury? Sure, it could go either way - you could get an old nun who nods off a lot, a battle ax nun who would see the word "sinner" emblazoned on your forehead no matter what you do, or a sweet nun that is loving, good and kind and... "can be a fair and impartial juror."
Yes this nun was finally snagged for jury duty after years of being, and still, under the duress of extreme financial hardship. Unfortunately that "excuse," ahem as they call it, is no longer allowed. Hence leaving a lot of jury duty notices found in the trash bins. But being a Catholic nun you are automatically born with a guilty conscience and more importantly afraid of getting the cuffs slapped on you and having to go downtown to a facility where several nuns in waiting are residing, if you catch my drift.
While they have relaxed the jury selection system and you only serve for one trial whereas before in this county they'd cart you around for ten days (at then $5.00 a day)... it is still a system of "the luck of the draw" - where you sit and wait and hope NOT to be called. First you are greeted by a courthouse employee in the jury waiting room who asks, as if a carnival barker, "okay if you have your pink form, yes your pink form, that's right your pink form, did you need me to say it again?, your pink form, if everyone has their pink form..." Ad infinitum and ad nauseum! After the rigmarole of the Pink form, the Green form, fill this out, did you want to postpone your service, any questions and various other "greetings" such as a retired judge who welcomes you and thanks you for wanting to do your "civic duty," while there's a bubble over your head that says, "I thought I'd get arrested if I didn't come down!" .... Then 12 names are called out and assigned to a courtroom. One lucky group came back just as they had entered and was told the case was tossed out! So off they went, not to be bothered another year for jury service.
They do show a video of how the jury selection works and how much fun you're supposed to have and how a lot of jurors stay in touch afterwards.... what? Is there a "I was a Juror chatroom" that you can go and read about all of their get togethers?? Or wedding announcements that read, "met while serving on a jury..." Well, after reading the newspaper, having coffee, losing myself in a book, (one gets used to sitting and reading, the best part of jury duty) and making sure I had picked a novel that liberally bandied about words concerning fornication, (well, lest I be accused of being a sleeping nun as I certainly didn't want to nod off), I lost the luck of the draw and was assigned to another courthouse the following day. On the upside once assigned we were allowed to leave and report back for duty the next morning at the more Protestant hour of 10:00 a.m. rather than the bleeding Catholic hour that morning of 7:30 a.m.
The other courthouse was not as much fun as the previous - several floors that all looked the same, sterile walls and what is it with our legal system that these courtrooms have no pictures? Imagine if those pictures you see in offices, "Strive for Success," "Reach Your Goals" or "There's no I in Team," were displayed? It would at least give one something to look at rather than the $500 suited lawyers and high salaried judge as you thought, "hmm, and we're getting $15 a day plus 34 cents a mile! Yes! I do want to be here! It is my civic duty!" Hell! I can make that much during our weekly bingo game!
Well, this nun was never interviewed as 11 jurors were picked, but then there was that pesky 12th one that kept getting tossed. Such invasive questioning by the lawyers, all the while with smiles permanently ingrained across their cheeks. "So do you feel you might harbor any grudges against the nature of my client's business?" Oh no, only the fact that I'm here making $2.50 an hour and wondering if you lawyers are going to spring for lunch!
Finally near the zero hour the 12th juror was selected and one alternate, and I was thankfully never picked to be on the jury. But my dear friends of the flock, it was a harrowing experience. Makes one want to go work overseas where those PINK jury duty notices will never find you!
Until next time... fly low and avoid the radar!
3 comments:
Oh my.... sister needs a beer... maybe two... three?
Courts should most definitely have a bar either on the top floor for a view of the city whilst you mull over the case, or on the bottom floor, where you can make a grand escape should you throw too many back during lunch.
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